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Posts Tagged ‘Steven Wright’

The Other 1%

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
   —    Steven Wright
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On This Day In:
2019 Where Does This Leave Us?
2018 Or A Small Blue Planet
2017 To Infinity And Beyond
2016 And Some Unawake, Too
Winds And Reign
2015 Natural Shapes
2014 Seeing The Light
2013 Requirements
2012 Tricked Again
2011 Liberty And Justice For Earth
2010 Home Again, Home Again, Jig-A-De, Jig…

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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
    —    Steven Wright
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On This Day In:
2019 A State With No Business
2018 Reflections
2017 Opposites Attract
2016 Completely Unreasonable
Starting To Be A Reacher
2015 Avengers Assemble II
But If I Had To Perish Twice…
2014 Turning Pages
2013 We Are All Accountable
2012 American Sign Language
2011 Happy Disproof
2010 Book Review – Managing Your Government Career

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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
   —    Steven Wright
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On This Day In:
2018 And Honest Politicians
2017 Maya, Maya
2016 Give Value
2015 Believe In Substitution
2014 Pragmatic Religion
2013 How’s Your View?
2012 Giants Win Game 3 Of The 2012 World Series 2 To 0!!!
Still Haven’t…
Accidental Me
2011 What Is Your Ratio?
2010 Giants Win Game 1 With 11 Runs Scored – Repeat 11 Runs!!

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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
    —    Steven Wright
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On This Day In:
2018 But Me
2017 A Little More, Please
2016 In Full Vigor
2015 A Good Lad
2014 Who Dare Not Speak
2013 I Love Beer
2012 Trial By Jury
2011 First Class
Got Knowledge?

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Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.
    —    Steven Wright
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On This Day In:
2018 Bourne Wicked Blonde
First Things First
2017 This Explains A Lot
2016 Me Too
2015 A Proper Price
2014 Well Hard
2013 Because I Can
Eloquence, n.
2012 Why Bother?
2011 Peculiar Notions

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My mechanic told me “I couldn’t fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
  —  Steven Wright
[Without any significant accomplishments (which the majority of Americans actually supported) during his first two years as President, #IncompetentDonald chose to use the mid-term elections campaign to spread hate and fear.  The results were a (not surprising) repudiation of the President where the number of Americans voting against Republicans increased from three million votes (Trump vs. Hilary popular vote loss count) to over six million (nationwide total – see image below) in the House and twelve million (nationwide total) in the Senate.  It is only the fact that Republicans outnumber Democrats in States with smaller populations which has allowed them to retain control of the Senate.  In the United States, each State gets two Senators irrespective of the State’s population.  The House, on the other hand, gets Districts assigned based on populations with a minimum of one.  Some of the States with smaller populations (Alaska, Delaware, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont and Wyoming) only have one Representative (called “at large”) with their “District” being the entire State.  The Senate is “inherently” less “democratic” for the nation by design.  Additionally, by only having one-third of its members up for re-election in any given election, it is also “inherently” more moderating (i.e. “conservative”) in representing the overall population of both the State and the nation.  (The Senate is the “brake” in this metaphor.)  Because the entire House of Representatives is up for re-election each election period, the House tends to reflect the political swings in the electorate more quickly and more radically – direction and degree – when the country is shouting “Stop” or “Speed-up”.  (The House is the “horn”.)
Image showing Democratic nationwide vote difference in 2018

Democratic nationwide vote difference in 2018

Of course, the comparison of vote totals above – numbers for President, House and Senate – are comparing apples to oranges to bananas.  And / but, they also do NOT take into account the significant gerrymandering done as of the 2010 census, which heavily tilted the House Districts in favor of the Republicans.  This makes the wins by the Democrats even MORE impressive!  It remains to be seen if those changes will remain when we go back into a Presidential turnout.  It also highlights the importance of Democrats working at the State level to regain control of as many State governorships and legislatures as possible heading into the next (2020) census and subsequent House redistricting.  The number of seats is controlled at the Federal level, but the actual redrawing of the Districts is done by the individual States.
This last part, the census and the redistricting is why it is vitally important for the electorate (the voters) to stay active during the run-up to 2020 (the census) and then immediately after through 2022, when the redistricting will normally occur.  In other words, you (voters seeking to make a progressive difference) can’t go to sleep between now and 2022 or the Republicans can continue and increase their relative positions through 2032.   By the way, the gerrymander is not (by any means) unique to the Republicans.  The Democrats have also used it to protect their seats.  The difference is the modern day use of computers to track voters and then specifically target the isolation of opposition voters to maximize their count while minimizing their effect.  For example, one State (Pennsylvania) had 51% of the vote (Democrats), but seated 5 out of 18 Districts (28% of the House seats) in 2012 because Republicans controlled the State legislature.  So, a word to the wise…  If you want to keep the house after 2020, stay awake and stay active!
Finally, for an excellent explanation of Gerrymandering, please read the linked article:  “This is the best explanation of gerrymandering you will ever see“, which appeared in the Washington Post a few years back.  I re-read it every year to remind myself of what is at stake.   —    KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2017 He Says, It Says
2016 Marriage Advice
2015 To James (and ‘Tasha)
2014 Ssshhush, You Are Not Alone
2013 So I Chose Living…
2012 For However Short A Time…
2011 Take A Deep Breath And Continue (Or Not)
2010 Tootsie-Roll Day

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I intend to live forever.  So far, so good.
      —     Steven Wright
[Yesterday I went for a couple of ultrasounds to investigate some pain I’ve been experiencing…  It turns out I have a cyst in my groin area, another one in my left kidney, and a stone to go with it.  Spherical, approximately 1cm.  Fortunately, it’s not currently obstructing the plumbing.  So, it looks like a trip to the urologist in the near future and then an out-patient trip to the hospital for some rock-splitting.  This will be my third go round.  I had it done twice back in the 1990’s.  It’s no fun, but it’s definitely better than the alternative – trying to live with a large kidney stone.
Ah, the joys of aging less than gracefully…    —    KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2017 Two Views Of The Starting Line
2016 Never Had It, Never Will (Donald Trump)
2015 20/20
2014 All Of My Best Ideas Come While Walking…
2013 Learn To Learn
2012 I Remind You
2011 Respect And Prestige
2010 Living Legends (Willie Nelson) and the Gettysburg Address

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So Far, So Good

I intend to live forever.  So far, so good.
    —    Steven Wright
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Is there another word for synonym?
    —    Steven Wright
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If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer?
    —    Steven Wright
(What if you’re both in a library?   —    kmab)
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    —    Steven Wright
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