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Posts Tagged ‘K9 Humor’

Another New Year’s Resolution… ??

A responsible pet owner…

[This image is not of me or my dog.  I do not own the image or claim any rights to it.  It’s just something I found on the Net and laughed at, so I’m sharing it…  —  KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2020 From The Mountains To The Shores
2019 Watering The Trees And Seeds
1221
2018 Take Care Of Me…
2017 Make Some Difference
2016 Still 99%
2015 Adolescent Opinion
2014 In A Big World
2013 Vacancy For God
2012 Sweat Equity
Try It… You’ll Like It
2011 Still Incomplete
2010 Happy New Year – 2010

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My dog winks at me sometimes…   And I always wink back just in case it’s some kind of code.
    —    Anonymous
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On This Day In:
2016 Republicans Eat Their Young
2015 Still 99%
2014 Affirming The Wall
2013 Maintain The Freedom
2012 All Good
2011 Fountains Of Life
Staying Alive

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The following is a short story I found on our recent trip to Oregon.  It was one of several sheets of paper handed out to hotel guests to amuse them while they were having breakfast…
A Seniors Trip To COSTCO
Yesterday, I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog.  I was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?  So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.  I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect balanced diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.  (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s rear and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard…
Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.
The moral of the story:  Better watch what you ask retired people.  We have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
[Postscript:  Just out of curiosity I googled this story and found dozens of references.  Not as many as I thought I’d find, so I guess this is a fairly recent story/joke.   —   KMAB]
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