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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

I love it when a plan comes together.
    —     Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith
(A character on the fictional TV series: “The ‘A’ Team“)
[For about ten years, I said this any time something went wrong (or – more rarely – right).  My wife’s response was usually:  “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”  My alternate was:  “That’s life in the urban jungle…”    —    KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2020 What About Blog Posts?
Listenin’ By Myself
A Short History
2019 Dodgers Choke AGAIN
He Wasn’t “Just Kidding The Press”
2018 Thinking About My Hil
Remember Your Duty In November
2017 Play Well With Others
2016 Surviving And Challenging
2015 On Destroying Historic / Archaeological Sites
2014 Magical Power
2013 How Awesome Would That Be
2012 Two Views
2011 Still Looking For Examples
2010 Giants Win Away 3 – 2!!

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Whatever the future holds, I make you one promise:  I’ll keep at least 99% of my net worth in Berkshire for as long as I am around.  How long will that be?  My model is the loyal Democrat in Fort Wayne who asked to be buried in Chicago so that he could stay active in the party.  To that end, I’ve already selected a “power spot” at the office for my urn.
    —    Warren Buffett
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On This Day In:
2020 The Main Thing: Vote!
No Other Reason
2019 A Big “IF”
2018 Committed To Thinking
2017 More Pictures From My (Family) Retirement Party
A Fondness For Sins
2016 Are You Waiting?
2015 The Future Myth
2014 Hands
2013 Because You Have Lived
2012 47%
2011 Conservative Values: Low And Lax
2010 A Non-Zero Sum Game
What If “c” Isn’t A Constant?
2009 Pictures from UCLA trip…

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Mathematicians are a bit like the laconic Vermonter who, when asked if he’s lived in the state his whole life, replies, “Not yet.
    ―     John Allen Paulos
From:  “Irreligion: A Mathematician Explains Why the Arguments for God Just Don’t Add Up
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On This Day In:
2020 I Like The Feeling
Everything I Hoped For
Let The Landslide Begin!!
2019 Somebody’s Watching You
2018 First From Within
2017 Or Vote Against You
2016 Cupid Must Say It Too
2015 Some Of This And A Pinch Of That
2014 Consensus Is Only One Side
2013 Not Ought
2012 If You Want To, If You Have Something To Offer
2011 I See Lots Of Fools
2010 Orange Inside!!
And The Band Played On…
Happy New Year!!

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I sent the club a wire stating:  “PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION.  I DON’T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
    ―     Groucho Marx
I, on the other hand, will make a few exceptions to my own “no joining” policy…
It normally takes seven to seven and a half years of retirement for the average American to “recover” all of the funds paid into their Social Security retirement funds during their forty odd years of work.  I’m over half-way there!    —    KMAB
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On This Day In:
2020 Three Down, Four To Go
Twenty-Four ‘Til You
2019 Two Down, Five To Go
2018 Year One, Done!
2017 First Day Of Retirement!
2016 Revere And Criticize
2015 Global Climate Change May Test This Statement
2014 Adaptability Won
2013 Disappeared
2012 Fuller
Life On The Range
More Classics
2011 Stoned Again?
2010 Insubordination… And That’s Why I Love Her!
Losing – Week One

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I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge because I have so much more of it.
    —     Mark Twain
[I watched an “anti-vaxxer” getting interviewed and his excuse for not getting a shot was:  “We all gotta die of somethin’.
This is a poor attempt (by me) at sarcastic humor.  And, no, there is no indication AT ALL that Samuel Clemens was anti-vaccination.  In any case, at the time of his (Clemens / Twain) death only five vaccines had been discovered:  Smallpox (1798), Rabies (1885), Typhoid (1896), Cholera (1896), and Plague (1897).    —    KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2020 Is #45 In Good Spirits?
Alone With My Tears
2019 Learning To…
Day 15: Die By The Scale
2018 Just Wondering
2017 Until I Think Of Something Better
2016 Who Are You?
2015 Renaissance Reptiles
2014 Book Return
2013 Keep Writing Your Truths
Perilous Times For The U.S. Military
2012 The Victor
2011 Forging Away At My Deadlines
2010 Try This With Your Shoes…

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A friend posted this word on Facebook and I (jokingly) replied I’d have to use it in a future poem.  He replied:  He would look forward to it.  So (okay), then I had to write a poem / ditty…  It’s a joke people!  It’s just a joke…  (Apologies to Disney and Mary Poppins.)

Floccinaucinihilipilification*

I knew a few Republicans
When I was just a lad,
They would call me Democrat
And tell me I was bad.
And then one day
I learned a word
That ended their derision,
The biggest word
They’d ever heard
And this is how it’s said…
Floccinaucinihilipilification
Oh, hum dil a lay ly,
Hum dil a lie
Hum dil a lay ly,
Hum dil a lie
I traveled all around the states
And every where I went
I’d describe Trump Republicans
With never a dissent
They labeled me Antifa
Because we disagreed
But they could not pronounce my word
Because they could not read
Oh, hum dil a lay ly,
Hum dil a lie
Hum dil a lay ly,
Hum dil a lie
They’re killing their supporters
By saying not to mask
They say we can be great again
By living in the past
Their candidates are laughable
Their policies bad jokes
They’re labeling us as communists
And trying to stop our vote
Oh, hum dil a lay ly,
Hum dil a lie
Hum dil a lay ly,
Hum dil a lie
Oh, floccinaucinihilipilification
Floccinaucinihilipilification
[spoken]
Over course they could try to say it backwards
Which would be…
Cation – pilifi – hili – ni – nauci – flocci
But that would be as ridiculous as expecting Faux News or The (Donald) Biggest Loser to tell the truth…
Now, wouldn’t it?
*   (pronounced:)  fläksəˌnôsəˌnīˌhiləˌpiləfiˈkāSHən/
Noun:  the action or habit of estimating something as worthless.
I believe the word is actually a combination of latin roots which mean (roughly translated):  hairs or fibers of little substance gathered together (like a pilling or a ball of lint).
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On This Day In:
2020 You Too?
Six Degrees
2019 A Branching Stream
Day 9: One Day At A Time
2018 Pity The Nation (Part 2)
Day 1: Redux
2017 Good Blogs, Too
2016 My Prediction For #AmnestyDon
2015 Worth A Try
2014 I’m Feeling It
2013 May I Have A Little More, Please?
2012 Increasing Doubt
2011 You Can’t Touch This

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Waaay back when I was a child, we had a dog we found as a stray puppy.  She was a little Scottish Terrier mix / mutt;  white with light brown ears.  No more that a foot high at the top of her head.
One day I took her to Golden Gate Park (in San Francisco).  At the entrance to the park is a pond named:  Alvord Lake.  Actually, it’s really more of a pond than a lake, and I didn’t even know it had a name.  Anyway, as we were coming down the rise from the park entrance, I let me dog off her leash.  My dog looked up and saw some ducks floating / swimming on the lake and she was off like a flash…
Now, at that particular time of year, the lake surface was covered with a dense cover of bright green pond scum – some kind of seasonal algae growth.
Back then, the lake did not have the palm trees or ferns which you can see in a more recent photo (below), but it did have the large rocks on the edge of the paths and around the edge of the water.
My dog was racing full bore towards the nearest ducks, intending to bound off of one of the boulders and into the middle of the her prey / victims.
Seeing her coming, the ducks were starting to move away and separate.
She hit the rock, leaping in the air more than her own full height and braced her feet to land on the dead run, pivot and continue the chase…
Yes, the predictable happened!  Splash!!  Surprised, she emerged covered in the scum / algae.  She was able to shake a good deal of the muck off once she swam back to shore.
Generally, it is wrong to anthropomorphize your pets, but I have never seen a dog / pet look more embarrassed by such an obvious mistake in judgement.
Needless to say, I was beside myself with laughter (at least until I got home and had to bathe her).  And, no, the GIF above is not of my dog 50+ years ago.  But it reminded me of the incident and made me chuckle.
[Disclaimer:  the two images are from Google and Google Maps.  The GIF was found on the net.  I don’t remember where.  I make no claim to ownership and they are being used for informational / illustrative purposes only.    —    KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2020 I Don’t Want To Get Any Older…
Maybe I’ll See You There
2019 Free At Last!
2018 Some Basic Virtues
Day 17: Fit In 48’s
2017 Too Soon We Part…
Rigorous And Difficult
2016 Where And Why
2015 The Beauty Of Thy Voice
2014 Faith In Men
2013 An Average Verge
2012 Dew Drop Secrets
2011 Champion Freedom

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I don’t hold no grudges more’n five years.
    —    William Kennedy
[If I can remember them (the offense), I do.  But my memory has never been that great…    —    KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2020 3rd November 2020
He Sat Down And Opened Up His Mind
2019 Just Two?
2018 I Resemble That Remark… (6!)
Day 14: Two Weeks!
2017 Try It, You’ll Like It
2016 Echo Chamber?
2015 Embrace The World Like A Lover
2014 Democratic Beliefs (for the next President)
2013 And Go Now!
2012 A World Safe For Diversity
2011 What If I Don’t Want To?
2009 Restful Sunday and a Movie About Boys’ Dolls (Action Figures)

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Our prototype for occupational fervor is the Catholic tailor who used his small savings of many years to finance a pilgrimage to the Vatican.  When he returned, his parish held a special meeting to get his first-hand account of the Pope.  ‘Tell us,’ said the eager faithful, ‘just what sort of fellow is he?’  Our hero wasted no words:  ‘He’s a forty-four, medium.’
    —     Warren Buffett
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On This Day In:
2020 A Destructive Mistake
I’d Rather Live In HER World
2019 And #IncompetentTrump Is A Failure At Both
2018 To Excel At Your Craft
Day 12: Waiting
2017 Like When You Can Order Others To Fight For You
2016 Holding Fast
2015 Alms Or Balms
2014 A Day At The Beach
2013 Pillows
Steppin’
2012 Invincible Summer
2011 Being Objective
2010 First Things First…
Northwest Passages – Intro
Northwest Passages – Day One
Northwest Passages – Poetry
Northwest Passages – Evening One
Northwest Passages – Morning Two

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When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
    —    Yogi Berra
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On This Day In:
2020 Paradoxical Conclusion
Just Once
I Still Believe Doing What’s Right Matters
2019 Never Used Up
2018 The Stumbling Block, Too
Day 5: Breezin’
2017 Duty
2016 Still Gaining
2015 Filling Gaps
2014 Even In Our Sleep
2013 Passion Is Always Personal
2012 And You Are?
2011 Innate Talent

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Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspiration and his limitations.  There is more logic in humor than in anything else.  Because, you see, humor is truth.
    —    Victor Borge
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On This Day In:
2020 A Poverty Of Attention In An Attention Economy
Don’t Forget
2019 Boxes
2018 Hoping For Better Come November
An Honest Binge
2017 Give And Keep
2016 No Change Here
2015 Campbell’s Law
2014 Dignified Values
2013 Unappreciated Skill
2012 Living Courage
2011 What’s Happening To Us?
2010 Toothbrush, Carbon and Monoxide
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!

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I stress that the universe is made mostly of nothing, that something is the exception.
    —    Carl Sagan
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On This Day In:
2020 #45: Time Is Ticking Away
#45 Claims COVID-19 Defeated To Open The Economy
2019 Belief Buffet
2018 Change Is Law
2017 A Dog Day Of Summer
2016 Chances Are
2015 Truer Spoken
2014 Not Quite There Yet (Either)
Many Colors
2013 Distance, n.
Less Can Be More
2012 Rise Up!
The Gift
2011 Artful Courage
2010 A Handful of Lessons…

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Our bodies are apt to be our autobiographies.
    —    Frank Gelett Burgess
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On This Day In:
2020 Unlike Faux News Viewers
2019 I Don’t Know Truth, Either
2018 An Approaching Disgrace
2017 Liberty, Collusion, History And The Republican Majority
2016 But I Have Too Many Questions
2015 A New Friend
2014 Do I Have To Fall In Love?
2013 More Democracy, Please
2012 Speaking Of Love
2011 Limits

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It’s like deja-vu, all over again.
    —    Yogi Berra
[Happy Birthday, Sis!!   It’s not the age in the mirror that counts;  it’s the youth in your heart.    —    KMAB]
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On This Day In:
2020 To My Idealistic Sister
2019 Respect For My Sister
2018 I Trust Cows
No Boundary
2017 Don’t Sink Now
2016 A Burning Passion To Teach Freedom
2015 Before Debit (And Credit) Cards
2014 Herding Cats
2013 Ooops!
2012 Understand A Great Truth
2011 Start Here…
2010 Random Acts of Vandalism On Easter Weekend…

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There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t.
    —    Anonymous
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On This Day In:
2020 What We Know About Ourselves
2019 But It Feels Dirtier Lately
2018 I Remember Some More Than Others
2017 Creating Reality
2016 Come, Read To Me Some Poem
2015 Exceeding Service
2014 Still Learning
Hospitality
2013 Execution Not Intensity
2012 Charles Carroll Of Carrollton (The Only Catholic Founder)
2011 Life Works
Pay Like Hell
Prosperity Finds Its Way Up

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