One Before I Go

I would rather have one rose and a kind word
from a friend while I’m here
than a whole truck load when I’m gone.
—  William Blake
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On This Day In:
2018	And Blog Posts, Too
2017	Just Doin’ It
2016	Definitely Not Bell Shaped
2015	Dreadful Pity
2014	Worse Than Useless
2013	Personal Prisons
2012	So, Not Yet Then
2011	Real Love

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Happy Meeting Day 35 (And Counting)

Thirty-Five years ago I met the love of  my life…
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On This Day In:
2018	Happy Meeting Day 34 (And Counting)
	Storytelling
2017	Happy Meeting Day 33 (And Counting)
2016	Picture Perfect
2015	Life Showed Compassion
2014	And Then I Met Her
2013	Defining Maleness
	The Run Continues
2012	All Set
2011	Not Always

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Don’t Be Small

Hate, among all our base instincts, is the most distinctly human.  In animals, violence and venom are tools of survival; in humans, of supremacy.  Small, scared people hate, self-hating people hate, bullied and betrayed people hate, as though hate will make them large and safe and strong.
—  Nancy Gibbs
From her article in Time Magazine (dtd: 12 November 2018):  “The Only Way Forward“
The online version of this article is titled:  “The Only Way to Fight Hate“
The article can be found online at: http://time.com/magazine/us/5441415/november-12th-2018-vol-192-no-20-u-s/
I choose to love people, not to judge them.  I want to experience them as they are, not as I would want them to be.  I want to grow with them, allowing each new moment to tell its own story, rather than perceive it as a product of our past.  I want us to search together for fresh alternatives to our incompleteness, to our negativity, to our deception, to our fear and to our despair.  I don’t want us to spend our lives thinking about life and change and celebration.  Rather, I want us to spend our lives celebrating and living and changing.  And I never want to forget what the wonderful author William Saroyan reminded me of many years ago:  People is all everything is – all it has ever been, and all it can ever be.  People.  You and me.  Together in love.
—  Leo Buscaglia’s Credo for Relationships
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On This Day In:
2018
2017	Are You A Loser?
2016	Constitution And Conscience
2015	Separate, Fearful And Imprisoned
2014	Something Worth Making
2013	Absolutely
2012	Can Do
2011	Wise Criticism

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Too Busy Thinking About My Baby

My wife and I were walking our dog this morning and a “techno / hopped-up” version of this classic R&B song was blasting out of a garage.  I HAD to listen to the original – so I thought I’d share it…
Enjoy!  (The lyrics are also available on my “poems / song lyrics and videos” page.)
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On This Day In:
2018	Lost Time
2017	Are You Talking To Me?
2016	Here, Desire Is Purified
2015	Hopefully Just Visiting
2014	Fond Memory?
2013	Distress, Hope, Trust
2012	Creating Interlocking Fragility
2011	Four Stories And A Gospel
	What Have You Burned Lately?

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Time For Loving

This book review is for: “Loving Each Other” (1984©), written by Dr. Leo Buscaglia.  (The “Dr.” is for PhD, not Medical Doctor.)  Dr. Buscaglia was half-known as “Dr. Love”, and was pretty much world famous as an author and motivational / relationship speaker back in the 1980’s / 1990’s.  He was also a lecturing professor at the University of Southern California.  He has since passed away (1998), but you can view some of his lectures and interviews on YouTube.
This is a book I’ve been carrying around for decades and just never got around to reading.  Back in the 1980’s, my wife and I used to watch Buscaglia’s lectures on Public Television (KQED) during “pledge week”, and this book (my copy) is marked as being from KQED and “Not For Sale”.   Which is okay, because I’m probably not going to sell it.  It has too many quotes for me to use as future posts on my blog (LoL).
The book is sub-titled: “The Challenge of Human Relationships” and that’s pretty much what the book is all about.  It seems as part of his academic work researching “successful” relationships, Dr. Buscaglia sent out a survey to 1,000 folks and received back an over 60% response rate.  Dr. Leo analyzed the responses and this book is his summary of what the respondents opinions were of why relationships succeed (and fail).  The book has ten chapters: an intro / definition of a “loving relationship”, three ending chapters – kind of a two-headed summary of the book, a chapter quoting some of the advise from the survey / questionnaire, and it has six chapters dealing with (what the Dr. believes) are the key components of  a successful, long-term relationship.  The components are: Communication, Honesty, Forgiveness, Joy, Letting go of jealousy, and Intimacy.  The chapter with the advise quotes is really just filler to get the book up to the 200 page minimum for this type of relationship / self-help book.  (IMHO)
So, is the book interesting and any good?  Yes and yes.  The Doctor is a terrific public speaker and the book completely mimics his style.  There are absolutely no “airs” about him or his family / up-bringing and this makes for a true family history story-telling.  At just 208 pages (including notes and bibliography / further reading), the book will be a fast read for most.  The book took me a couple of weeks to get through, because I was using it as a prompt to my imagination of future conversations I could have with my wife.  I started the book while she was away visiting her family in Liverpool this month.  Even a slow reader (like myself) could get through this book in three days of a couple of hours each day.  The author’s conversational style of writing makes for a pleasant break in an otherwise hectic / “normal” day.  I found myself intentionally pacing myself so I could enjoy the book longer.  Reading it was like catching up with an old friend you haven’t seen in awhile and wanting to stay just a few minutes longer.
Final recommendation:  Very Highly Recommended!  I have actually gone online to try to find a copy of the survey Dr. Buscaglia sent out, but have not located it.  I am tempted to re-create a portion of the survey to post on this blog to see what results I might get.  Given I have so few followers, it might be possible for me to offer up the results “raw” and / or if I did happen to get sufficient responses, I might analyze them and compare / contrast the results with those from the book.  It just sounds like it might be an interesting project for the future…
There is a saying in the martial arts that when a student is ready a master will appear.  I guess the time was ripe for me to finally read this book.  Again, if you can’t afford to buy Dr. Buscaglia’s books, several of his lectures are available online (on YouTube).  I highly recommend those, too!
You will, of course, see multiple quotes from this book appearing in the future.
Love, Hugs and Smiles to all…
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On This Day In:
2018	No Pride There
	London To The Hague
2017	At Least Twenty To Go
2016	A Sweet Smelling Blog Post
	Pre-Reacher
2015	Getting The Story Right
2014	Like Shells On The Shore
2013	More And Why
2012	How To Gain Effective Fire
2011	Patriot Act

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I Asked My Family Doctor Just What I Had

This year, my wife has spent seven long (to me anyway) weeks visiting her family back in Liverpool, England.  She is coming back to me today.
If my life can be described as a tree with all of the branches and leaves as my personal choices and experiences, then our marriage has been the tree’s trunk and my Hil has been the tree’s roots, binding us to the good earth.  Winter is over and Spring has arrived!
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On This Day In:
2018	You Have Just Begun To Climb
2017	Equal Protection Under Law
2016	A Stubbornly Persistent Illusion
2015	Or You Don’t
2014	If You Ever Fall…
2013	Glory Days (part 2)
2012	They Follow A Pattern – If You Know What I Mean
	What I Live For (Precis)
2011	Giving

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Fear The Beards

Last year,  my son (“Jim” / James) and I were binge-ing on the “Vikings” series on the History Channel.  On 18 April 2018, we agreed to grow our beards out for one full year to see what they would look like and if they would be long enough to “viking braid”.  (Yeah, I know, very mature…)  My son is working on the 18th, so he came by today for a selfie.  (See below…)
Jim and me rockin’ the chin locs.
We’ve concluded our beards are not really long enough to properly braid.  Jim says his wife can braid his, but they are very short braids.  I think I would need at least another year to have a decent shot with mine.  My Hil hates my full-out beard, so I doubt it will survive her return (this Sunday) from her family visit to Liverpool.  I don’t know if I’m going to miss it (the beard) or not.  It’s relaxing to stroke, but annoying when it catches in your zippers (coats and sweaters).  Ah, well, life is full of trade-offs…
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On This Day In:
2018	Slice, Nick, Cut, Bled
2017	Like Most Blogs
2016	The Window Left Open
	Free Experience
2015	Reality == Perception / (Times Reported * 10)
2014	Tear Da Roof Off Da Sucka
2013	Exposed Spirits
2012	Ow-ow
2011	Focused Relatives

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